Walk tall.

My little stinker turns 11 months old this week. He is on the move!

I am so proud of how hard he has worked... and here he is walkin' tall.

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Busy body.

We spent the whole day indoors. Not that it wasn't sunshiny (if a little cold), we just needed the day to chill. El Senor took two, two-hour naps (holla!) and I...well, I did too (HOLLA!).

He is really getting around now, and by getting around I mean getting in. to. every. thing.

Holy cow. No (dusty) corner goes untouched.

Here he is 'helping' me sort his clothes. (For the record, this was already done and packed up nicely to go to the basement.)

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

And here he is playing in the bathroom. Who knew a roll of toilet paper could entertain for so long? Don't you think this means he's ready to potty train? :)

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Guess who..

...was witnessed shouting to her son today, "Stop growing! I'm not done with you being a baby yet!"

Yep. And then I packed up all of his 0-9 month clothes. And wiped away lots of tears.

Did I mention he is walking (read: breaking my heart?!).

Just stop it already!!

Hard day.

Today was one of those days that really catches you off guard and knocks you to the ground. I feel like I got the emotional wind knocked out of me. I was down for the count for a good half of the day.

The grief surrounding adoption is intensely sad and consuming. The thing that I kept thinking about today is that I am the member of this triad that has lost the least. And this is how I feel?

And then I just feel more sad.

Thanks to some good AP buddies for listening and being generally awesome. What would I do without you?

The boy loves his food.

Abel is obsessed with oatmeal lately. He gets so excited that he cheers for it between bites. Today, I couldn't tell if he was cheering or asking for more. He loves to eat!

Make photo slide shows at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Stuff people say

So, of course the words of this post are still ringing in my ear. I've thought through it a lot. (Thanks for the supportive emails and comments, by the way.)

I'm pretty good at forgiving lame things people say to me. Probably because I lay in bed nightly and think of the (fifteen or so) ridiculous and regrettable things I have said to people during the day. I get that sometimes the things that come out of your mouth and your intention can be very different. I'm just as guilty as the next person.

That said, things people say about my adoption (the process, but especially about my son or his birthplace/history) sting a little more than the average zinger. The thing is, our little family is still very new and oftentimes people assume I am more confident or comfortable in my role than I really am. I'm still learning it, figuring it out. And I'm EXTREMELY protective over my son, his history, and how we became a family. I recognize that because of this I am pretty sensitive.

I have heard A LOT of ridiculous comments since starting the process to adopt. The most offensive questions have been about Abel's medical/family/social history. I mean, really, the audacity of people when it comes to this stuff is beyond me. (Would I walk into a newborn nursery and say to you, "Your baby is beautiful. Does his dad have AIDS?")

The thing that struck me today is that while that comment about being "let" to adopt my child stung, it's a lot easier for me to take than the obnoxious comments directed at my son. I can take it. I'm a grown up. I can rationalize and recognize stupidity. My son can't do that and won't be able to for a long time. It kills me to think of these comments hurting him someday.

I am attempting to change my attitude from balking at stupid questions to taking the opportunity to educate about international adoption - the beautiful and the ugly. Any advice on transitioning awkward adoption questions/comments into teachable moments is appreciated!

The Abel Effect

Fourteen.

That's the number of people who went out of their way to approach and speak to Abel today while we were running errands. I counted. It bordered on the obscene.

You don't have to twist my arm to admit he's cute. We KNOW he's cute. (Those eyes!)

It's more than that. This kid has the ability to brighten someone's day with so much as a glance. It's special. When he's in the room, the room changes. People remember him. Talk about him.

My parents cracked up last weekend when we went out to lunch. A woman crossed the restaurant to tell us how amazing he is. Really!

I'm not saying this because I'm his mom and I'm supposed to think it. I'm telling you, the kid is special.

He has a game he plays when we're in public. I don't think he's even aware, but I'm watching. He will lock eyes with someone and smile until they smile. As of today, he's undefeated. I have seen sourpuss faces light up in reaction to that grin.

I guess you could read this and think that I'm just bragging about my son. It's not the case. I'm writing this as just another person who came across his path in life and was immediately smitten. It just seemed so remarkable to me today.

Smile. You can't resist. He dares you.

Kitty

Really? Really??

Me to the naughty cat: No-no, kitty.

Abel: keh teeeeee

Noooooooooo! Momma, dammit!!! Momma WILL be your first word!

"That's really nice"

A very educated, urbane colleague of mine said to me last week on the subject of my adoption as a single person...

"That's really nice that they let you do that."

Huh?

Why is that nice?

Because it's second best? Because 'they' feel sorry for me? Who is 'they'?

I'm still not quite sure what was meant by the comment, but it didn't sit right. This is a person with some authority over me, so I didn't feel comfortable getting in to it. Maybe I should've? It's obviously still bothering me.

Is this one of those comments that you let roll off your back or confront?

I'm still figuring it out.