The boy loves his food.

Abel is obsessed with oatmeal lately. He gets so excited that he cheers for it between bites. Today, I couldn't tell if he was cheering or asking for more. He loves to eat!

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Stuff people say

So, of course the words of this post are still ringing in my ear. I've thought through it a lot. (Thanks for the supportive emails and comments, by the way.)

I'm pretty good at forgiving lame things people say to me. Probably because I lay in bed nightly and think of the (fifteen or so) ridiculous and regrettable things I have said to people during the day. I get that sometimes the things that come out of your mouth and your intention can be very different. I'm just as guilty as the next person.

That said, things people say about my adoption (the process, but especially about my son or his birthplace/history) sting a little more than the average zinger. The thing is, our little family is still very new and oftentimes people assume I am more confident or comfortable in my role than I really am. I'm still learning it, figuring it out. And I'm EXTREMELY protective over my son, his history, and how we became a family. I recognize that because of this I am pretty sensitive.

I have heard A LOT of ridiculous comments since starting the process to adopt. The most offensive questions have been about Abel's medical/family/social history. I mean, really, the audacity of people when it comes to this stuff is beyond me. (Would I walk into a newborn nursery and say to you, "Your baby is beautiful. Does his dad have AIDS?")

The thing that struck me today is that while that comment about being "let" to adopt my child stung, it's a lot easier for me to take than the obnoxious comments directed at my son. I can take it. I'm a grown up. I can rationalize and recognize stupidity. My son can't do that and won't be able to for a long time. It kills me to think of these comments hurting him someday.

I am attempting to change my attitude from balking at stupid questions to taking the opportunity to educate about international adoption - the beautiful and the ugly. Any advice on transitioning awkward adoption questions/comments into teachable moments is appreciated!

The Abel Effect

Fourteen.

That's the number of people who went out of their way to approach and speak to Abel today while we were running errands. I counted. It bordered on the obscene.

You don't have to twist my arm to admit he's cute. We KNOW he's cute. (Those eyes!)

It's more than that. This kid has the ability to brighten someone's day with so much as a glance. It's special. When he's in the room, the room changes. People remember him. Talk about him.

My parents cracked up last weekend when we went out to lunch. A woman crossed the restaurant to tell us how amazing he is. Really!

I'm not saying this because I'm his mom and I'm supposed to think it. I'm telling you, the kid is special.

He has a game he plays when we're in public. I don't think he's even aware, but I'm watching. He will lock eyes with someone and smile until they smile. As of today, he's undefeated. I have seen sourpuss faces light up in reaction to that grin.

I guess you could read this and think that I'm just bragging about my son. It's not the case. I'm writing this as just another person who came across his path in life and was immediately smitten. It just seemed so remarkable to me today.

Smile. You can't resist. He dares you.

Kitty

Really? Really??

Me to the naughty cat: No-no, kitty.

Abel: keh teeeeee

Noooooooooo! Momma, dammit!!! Momma WILL be your first word!

"That's really nice"

A very educated, urbane colleague of mine said to me last week on the subject of my adoption as a single person...

"That's really nice that they let you do that."

Huh?

Why is that nice?

Because it's second best? Because 'they' feel sorry for me? Who is 'they'?

I'm still not quite sure what was meant by the comment, but it didn't sit right. This is a person with some authority over me, so I didn't feel comfortable getting in to it. Maybe I should've? It's obviously still bothering me.

Is this one of those comments that you let roll off your back or confront?

I'm still figuring it out.

What she said...

http://adayatthebeauchamps.blogspot.com/2010/08/not-ok.html

Can you help?

Our friend's sister was adopted by a family in Spain and they are trying to reconnect.

Can you help? See Kerri's blog here...

http://1crazyfamily.wordpress.com/2010/08/22/looking-for-elihambuscando-eliham/