Help!! There's a toddler in my house!

-At dinner last night, I got a hand swipe and definitive, "NO!" when I dared to give him something he didn't want (at least at that very moment...he was eating it 2 minutes before.)

-He can go from happy boy to mad boy to sad boy to happy boy all in about 20 seconds. It's got to be some kind of record.

-He is naughty! And I know he knows by the way he looks at me as he's doing something he's not supposed to ... it's all in the eyes. NAUGHTY!

All signs point to my baby boy becoming a toddler. All I can say is YIKES! :)

A day late.

I spent so much of my day yesterday (World AIDS Day) thinking about our family in Ethiopia, a country very much affected by the HIV/AIDS crisis.

We likely have family infected or affected by AIDS and without medication, because this is unfortunately the standard. I found myself angry and fighting back tears a lot of the day. The weight of the disparity in health care is so overwhelming and sad.

I am troubled about what to do. I have intentions of going to grad school for global health and (hopefully) working in advocacy at some point. But what can I do NOW? Of course I make the meager donations I can make. Of course I advocate -on my very small scale- with people in my life to lessen the stigma of HIV/AIDS. But what else?

This is a rambling post. But I guess that's where my head is... rambl-y, sad, and feeling a little stuck about what I can do. I hate that.

I am praying for:
-Big pharmaceutical companies to step up and stop trying to profit from HIV/AIDS drugs.
-People to get tested. Get tested. Get tested.
-Little and big people alike to stop suffering from the stigma that surrounds their status.
-No more babies to be needlessly infected at birth or by breastfeeding.

Sappy Sunday

Sappy thought for the day...

The incredible heart swell for the joyful outreached little arms that only want you.

I don't think I ever understood how amazing it would be to have a little person in this world who always picks me. I was a pediatric nurse, babysat for years, unofficial 'auntie' to lots of babes... you get the picture. But, oh. I had NO idea what it felt like to be that little person's favorite person.

Seriously. Heart. melt.

Sappy Sunday

Okay, I'm not a great blogger. I don't do Fave Foto Fridays, Wordless Wednesdays, or Thankful Thursdays.

But parenthood has turned me into a big sap and I need an outlet, so I'm introducing Sappy Sundays!

Today's sap:

Sometimes as Abel is falling asleep he smiles a little. And sometimes when he's fallen asleep in his clothes and I lay him down and take off his shoes and socks, he sleep-giggles. It kills me.

Consider sharing your sappy sap with blogland!

And, because I know this is the reason you come here...

Can I tell you something sappy?

There was a moment yesterday as I was rocking the little one to sleep (he was settled into his favorite little nook under my arm) that I was sure my heart was going to explode from the happiness.

Truly.

Love.

Really?

Geno's World: Nia Vardalos talks about adoption on "The Talk".

Can you please watch the video above and tell me if you agree that the NATIONAL spokesperson for adoption just said her decision to adopt a child was based on adopting a dog? Really??

This makes me really sad. While I appreciate her candor (and totally get that she thought she was being funny), really?! She, of all people as a SPOKESPERSON, could not come up with a more eloquent way to talk about this?

Also, she didn't want to discuss ANY of the challenges of adopting an older child? I recognize that her goal is to promote adoption, but still ... a little acknowledgement of hardship would probably help the case. Don't you think?

One year old and six months home!

Crazy.

The past two weeks I've been a reminiscing basketcase.

Two things occurred to me:

1. My baby is no longer a baby.

2. He's been with me longer than he was in an orphanage, half of his life.

My big boy is growing like a weed. He's in the 60th percentiles for both weight and length. His head is off the charts, but what can I say? The boy has a big brain! He has eight teeth and is working on some molars. He tries to run (he gets momentum from the enormous noggin!). He will do anything for yogurt. He is trying new foods slowly. Not hating, but not loving either. He loves kids...all kids. He has a winning smile and a fake camera smile. They are both ridiculously adorable. He hates cold weather and wind. (Yay Chicago. lol) The only word he says consistently and discriminately is 'kitty-CAT'. (You would only know how much this irritates me if you knew how irritating my cat is.) Oh sure, he says other things and he jabbers on non-stop, but 'kitty-CAT' is the one he always goes back to. He has been pre-tantruming (think screaming in line at the grocery store). Yep, he's a

toddler!

I just want to add here that I am amazed. every. single. day. at this child. This baby that had so many concerned for his health. This baby that hardly grew for three months straight. This baby that had me thinking I needed to jump on a plane to make sure he was okay. This baby that worried people enough that four virtual strangers carried special formula in their suitcases just to make sure his brain would grow. This baby. This baby is a walking, talking, strong, smart, agile, and beautiful toddler. Amazed. And oh-so-thankful.

Also must add, that in all the celebration of Abel's first birthday, thoughts of his birth family are near. I don't for a second celebrate without a pang of grief, thinking about how his birth parents could be feeling now. I cried when he ate his birthday cake. Completely overwhelmed by emotion...what would he be doing now, who would he be with, what would life be like if his birth family had been able to parent. So heavy.

Goofy, camera smile--told you!

As all of you AP's know, the six month mark is THE mark. The one where you feel a little more comfortable evaluating how well this family thing is going. I have spent a lot of time remembering how I felt during those first weeks and months home. It was hard. Harder than I let on. I feel more comfortable saying it now since we are in a good place, but I regret not talking about it sooner, and with more honesty. Please do NOT get me wrong. We're good. He's good. But, I just want to be clear that infants experience trauma, too. Just because I 'got him young' doesn't mean he didn't have any trouble adjusting to life with me and didn't grieve.

He has made such progress ...he is social and dare-I-say well-adjusted. He loves day care, appears to be attaching to me appropriately, and is a generally pretty laid back kid. His smile really does make the world go 'round. Really.

All that to say, here we are and life is good. Six months in to our little family of two. I am still thankful every day and some days have to pinch myself to remind me that he is REALLY here. My life is so rich and blessed because of this boy and this process.

Addis Ababa, May 6 2010

Home, November 2010