But lately I have been spending a lot of my time thinking about the birth family of the future Little B. Because I have gone on the wait list for a young child, I know that most likely the time between abandonment or relinquishment and my referral will be short. Meaning, the birth family of Little B is probably making their most difficult decision right around now.
It's heavy. And, it's important. And, it centers me when I get caught up in this nutty process. The wait lists, the numbers, the timelines, the endless, endless documents. And, it comes down to this decision. This biggest decision.
A decision I will be grateful for and think of everyday, and raise Little B to honor.
Adoption is intense on both sides of the fence. Good luck
ReplyDeleteOh girl I understand. Since Sammy was abandoned I feel somewhat cheated because we don't have/won't have any additional information. Then I feel somewhat happy, because I don't have to "deal" with it. Then I feel guilty because I felt happy....so much emotion crap involved in this process.
ReplyDeleteI'm doing Sammy's life book and it's tough, not knowing all the answers. But I don't want to assume or make them up either.
In the end, I just have to say "someone in your family made the best decision they could in a difficult situation. You were warmly dressed and well fed when you were found outside that police station. Someone obviously wanted you to be found immediately, because the policeman estimated you could not have been there more than 5 minutes. But because of that difficult decision, you are now here with us. While we hope and pray that your birth mom and dad are safe and well, we are also so thankful they made a decision that allowed you to become our son."
It's so ironic, isn't it, that someone's worst experience ever gives rise to one of the best things to ever happen to us.
ReplyDeleteOh, I hear ya! It is amazing, horrible and beautiful all at once. I hope through it all that our parenting will help our kids choose to embrace all the love within their life stories. I mean, the pain will always be there, but I hope to foster triumph over the hurt.
ReplyDeleteI have a question for ya, and I don't think I have your email?? Please give me a shout - grigsby_rogal@yahoo.com
It won't be long! So excited for ya!
I think of M's birthmom daily. She has given me the most amazing gift because of her selflessness.
ReplyDeleteYou are so right to remember in our waiting that these could be the last days with their birth family....these precious days.